Sunday 8 November, 2009A Step towards Individuality

I went to a meeting a few weeks ago where the editors of several major magazines in Connecticut were representing themselves. It was the first time that I found myself sitting at a circular table of other writers and to tell you the truth, I found it to be a bit intimidating as well as exciting.

I was listening with fascination to the stories of everyone around me when someone casually asked me what writing I do. When I told them that I write a few articles a month for an online adult website about relationships and sexuality and how people relate to one another in all areas of their lives, all conversation turned towards me.

“What is that like?” one person asked.

“What do people talk about?” another questioned.

“What is it that men want?” inquired a third.

“Can we read these articles? asked a fourth.

“You should be interviewed,” another one stated.

I tried to answer each question fully.

“It’s really interesting,” I said in response to the first inquirer, “because I’m exposed to so many thoughts that men and women have about sexuality and other areas of their lives.”

“They’ll talk about anything,” I went on, nodding to the second person. “People are very open about what they want.”

“Some of the men want honest-to-goodness relationships with a loving woman and some want to just play out a fantasy,” I said, speaking carefully and thoughtfully to the third. “It’s the same with the women, believe it or not...” and I expanded a bit.

“Food and sex,” one woman interjected and the table laughed. “Isn’t that what we all want?” I smiled at her and agreed.

“What would be interesting about interviewing me?” I asked the fourth participant with curiosity.

She tilted her head and smiled at me. “You’re an adult woman who writes for an adult website.

Looking at you, no-one would know that you do this for a living,” she said. “Don’t you think that other people would find that interesting?” 

I looked into her intelligent brown eyes. “I never thought about it in that way before,” I admitted. “But when you say it, yes, it does.” Everyone laughed.

So there I was for the moment, having the attention of several published and experienced authors, focusing on me. In being there, I experienced that brief opening of a window that people always say happens when you try to bring something new into your life. Though I’ve heard it spoken about forever, now I was in the midst of it. Was it scary? No, not really. I felt good, I felt like I was opening myself up to other possibilities. It’s something that I know that we all need to do when dealing with relationships; particularly when talking about dealing with ourselves as individuals, separate from our relationships.

You know how sometimes you can hear the same advice repeated over and over but you never take the advice offered? Sometimes, that advice might just be worth taking.