BDSM 101
BDSM, in literal terms, is an acronym which usually stands for something along the lines of, "Bondage, Domination, Sado-Masochism." I've heard a few differences, but this seems to be the most readily accepted.
But for the millions of people who love the darker side of life, BDSM is a lifestyle. Just like any other lifestyle, it is a niche where we have found comfort and enjoyment just being ourselves.
Does this mean that we're all a bunch of perverts? Well yes, it does. But consider this: we're all perverts, whether or not we're into BDSM. You're a pervert, I'm a pervert, we're all perverts. How can that be?
Well, what's your definition of pervert? It's probably different from Mine, just as Mine is going to be at least a little bit different than someone else's. Since no one has the same definition, we're all perverts.
BDSM isn't just a sexual thing, though many times our sex lives are greatly enhanced by our lifestyle. BDSM, when seen as a lifestyle, isn't just about bumping uglies. It's about living the way we want to live, despite the rigors of society's acceptance or disapproval. It's about being who we are, just like any other culture or lifestyle.
Some people are natural submissives, feeling happy and free when bound by the whim and will of a naturally Dominant person. That's their comfort zone; that's their particular lifestyle.
Some of Us are naturally Dominant and enjoy "owning" and training submissives. Still others aren't really submissive or dominant, but like to play on both sides. And yet others don't really care one way or another, but have their own delightful fetishes that get their gears turning.
It's all about being what you want to be. It's turning your fantasy into your reality by giving up the fear of society's disapproval. It's about being you, no matter how kinky or freaky you really are inside.
Now what's the difference between a Dominant and a top? They are not mutually exclusive, however they are terms that are seen as describing the same thing, (most often, erroneously).
A top hearkens to someone who likes to give pain or pleasure in BDSM scene play. Most Dominants are indeed tops, however not all tops are Dominants. Confused yet? Try this: a Dominant is Someone who is naturally in control and who enjoys being such. He or She takes control not only of a situation but most often controls a submissive as well.
A submissive gets great pleasure from serving and being controlled. He or she may be a bottom, (one who enjoys being topped), which may mean that he or she is a masochist, (one who enjoys receiving pain).