Cockeyed Funny
Have you had more dating advice dished up for you than you can possibly digest? Cruise the net, check out a few sites, and you have to beat 'em off with a stick: blogs, ezines, newsletters, free reports, free ebooks, and plenty more that the free stuff tries to entice you to pay for with hard-earned cash.
Most of it's pretty homely: stuff your mom could have cooked up, if the two of you talked about that kind of thing. Or you might have heard it from your best friend (if you don't mind commentary) or in the locker room (if you're dumb enough to swallow it).
Overall, it's either common knowledge or common sense. Some of it even works. Some of it;like when a guy explains why it is that guys don't seem to listen at all when women talk, or when a girl reveals the secret to getting women to stop nagging;some of it may actually be enlightening.
But watch it. Some advice can turn around and bite you, if you handle it the wrong way.
For instance, one dating guru teaches that men should be "cocky and funny" as a sure-fire technique for having their way with women. (This is not advice, mind you. The disclaimer says it's merely an opinion. Not sure how you're supposed to tell the difference.)
Judging by the fan letters and success stories, "cocky and funny" has become a mantra for a lot of guys. Trouble is, "cocky" seems to mean rude, and "funny" is downright insulting. According to these disciples, though, being rude and insulting melts women's hearts and ignites their passion.
So how does that work? And if it works, what can be wrong with it?
As long as a guy understands that cocky is plain old self-confidence and funny is as powerful as any pheromones, he's got the secret to dating nirvana. Trouble is, lots of people are pretty insecure. When an insecure man tries to act as though he doesn't really care what a woman thinks of him, he may just put her down. And when a woman is treated badly for no apparent reason, it throws her off balance. If she's insecure herself, she'll try to "fix" things;even to the point of using sex to reassure herself that she's okay, that she's desirable after all.
If that's all the guy wants, good for him. He's a success; he "got" the girl. But he's done it by playing on her fears and insecurities. Sooner or later, he'll probably notice that she needs an awful lot of attention and reassurance. Way too much, maybe. He'll tell her he'll call . . .
On the other hand, she may notice that, despite all her efforts, he just isn't all that funny. But that's okay. Just leave a message . . .
Here's a tip, funny guy
Go ahead: use the awfullest, corniest pickup line you can think of. Pause a beat while you realize how stupid you just sounded. Then go ahead and laugh at yourself;a real, hearty, share-it-with-me laugh. Can you believe you actually said that? Neither can she;and she'll get the joke.