Wednesday 4 November, 2009Could, Should and Don’t

People who don’t take care of their health are affecting their love lives in several ways. I know because I’m one of these people.

Oh, I know, I know...at the advanced age of almost forty six years, I should know that exercising and taking care of myself physically is beneficial to me in more ways than one. What I can’t figure out is why I don’t.

Like many other people, I could become more attractive. I could get a better haircut, I could whiten my teeth, I could lose weight. I don’t exercise in any way possible though I often daydream about being physically strong and fit. For some reason, it’s hard for me to even accomplish a five minute walk. Now, what’s up with that?

Could, should and don’t.

I know that I’m not alone in this but that only offers me a little comfort.

You would think, being a writer of relationships and knowing how important it is to take care of one’s self, that I would be topping the list of doing so. After all, I want a new relationship in my life and one where I could physically enjoy being active.  I want to be around for my daughter as she gets older and I just want to feel good for myself. No one else is going to do it for me. So why wouldn’t I help myself?

I get into cycles where I do. I start exercising. I eat well then I’ll blow it. I’ll go to the gym then not go. I’ll get up early in the morning and go for a walk and then sleep late the next time.  I’ll start a class and then quit before finishing.

It almost sounds like I’m allergic to feeling good, doesn’t it? At least that’s one opinion that my doctor suggested. He said that he hears all kind of excuses for why people don’t do the things they know they should. All he can figure out, he said, is that there’s a hidden pay-off in not feeling good. Though what that can be I can’t even imagine.

I envy and look admiringly at fit and pretty women. They come into where I work, some of them, all pumped up from their kickboxing class or their aerobic class and they feel good. But mostly they look good. My age and older, I feel like the matronly aunt next to them. Unconsciously I suck in my stomach more but hey, it can only go so far. In the meanwhile, their tanned chiseled arms and tight bodies in sweatpants and a tank top are staring at me as they order a cup of coffee and nothing else. I watch the men at work fall over themselves in catering to these women and I wish I provoked that kind of reaction. All I can do is try not to stick my butt out too far as I’m bending down to retrieve something from the bottom shelf.

At least I’m conscientious.