Friday 10 July, 2009First Impressions Are Lasting Impressions

All too often, there’s a decidable difference between how we think we come across to others and how others actually see us. It’s easy to remember this when we are meeting people face to face...but what about first impressions when one is meeting people online? Is there even such a thing?

Of course there is. A first impression is a first impression whether it be in person or in words (such as in corresponding emails.) Ask anyone involved in the world of online dating if first impressions make a difference. All will tell you that they have received emails from people that they wouldn’t or didn’t give a second glance to. Why? The first impression of the person they received from that first email. Even in the world of online correspondence, sometimes there are no second chances.

But let’s say that you’ve had no problem with coming across as an approachable and likable person through correspondence, and now you are going to be actually meeting a person that you have been looking forward to meeting. You start thinking that since this person already knows so much about your thoughts and feelings on so many subjects anyway that have been very personal, then why should you go out of your way to try and impress them now?  They’ve already told you that they are attracted to you for you, so you decide that with this person, you can just drop the social falseness game that you dislike so much and come to the first meeting as you are.

Natural, direct, without any phoniness, you think. You assume that the other person won’t care and might even admire you for it.

So here the day of the meeting face-to-face finally arrives, and you’re ready. You show up almost a half an hour late, but that’s okay, isn’t it?  Every one runs a little late sometimes. It’s not as if you weren’t going to show up at all. And boy, are you glad that you are meeting them today of all days, because your boss or your mother or your roommate or your best friend really pissed you off, and you’re really glad you’ll have someone to listen to you as you complain about how unfairly you were treated. Oh, it’ll be nice to have some sympathy from an understanding friend for a change!

Are you starting to get the picture?

It’d be hard to imagine a successful second meeting between these two people if this scenario went down as described. Don’t forget, this would be a first impression too.

Connecting with someone online doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t care in how you appear when finally meeting: it means that you know an interest has already been expressed between the two of you. Why not expand on that?  Think how lucky you are that you already feel some sort of acceptance from this person. That’s a great gift! Be appreciative of that. Now there’s a lasting first impression that goes a long way.