Tuesday 18 August, 2009First Saturday Night in June, 2007

"Miss LostnLookin.” This is a word I found that was used in one of the forums that I came upon tonight.

I thought how appropriate it was that the writer of this statement condensed in fifteen letters a term that describes what so many of us girls are doing. And doing wrong, a part of me suspects, strongly.

How many of us long for the finding of the one, just one, with whom we can be ourselves with and feel the most comfortable?  Of course he can kiss, but does he have brains, passion and humor? Does it matter?

I married someone who was awesome at the first, lacked somewhat in the second (I’m not being mean, he just wasn’t very brainy); had outstanding in the third and somewhat something in the fourth. With all our lovemaking and affection, with my having met my match with a male whose hunger for physical expression in affection was as deep and needy as mine, was it a surprise to me to find that we didn’t have much to talk about, sometimes? It sure was.

Aren’t relationships strange sometimes? I mean really. When we first meet someone, we really don’t have an understanding of how they are going to impact our life.  It consistently amazes me how one man can affect a woman’s life for the rest of her life, as well as a woman affecting a man’s life for the rest of his. Though I have to be honest in admitting that I think women grieve more and deeper than most men.

Why do we get divorced, we do we marry…my dad says that people should be engaged fro two to three years before they marry. He should know-he and my mom have been together for fifty three years. It is my belief that I will know no one in my generation who will remain married to someone for that length of time.

It must have drove them over the edge when they found out (I guess through me) that I had eloped with a guy thirteen years younger than myself after becoming engaged to him after only nine days. I never heard what my father’s reaction was to that, but at the moment, I can almost hear him going psycho and wondering if I had.

My father says that what puzzles him is: “Don’t women see a guy for what he is, through his habits and actions, before they marry him?” I hated to admit to him that we often do, but that we chose to ignore them. He just shook his head fiercely and said that’s stupid. I couldn’t argue with him on that.

My teenage daughter was sitting with us listening to this and I was glad that in this day and age, she was getting a glimpse into her grandfather’s mind and perception on people and relationships. I know she didn’t agree with some, but that’s okay. Some of the seeds dropped will remain and that’s really good.