Masochism Explained
If you go to your local dungeon, you'll see all types of delicious tortures. But when the scenes end, and those being tortured go back to their normal manner, a separation occurs. Some will remain submissive, the others will go back to being as they are outside of sado-masochistic play. This separation makes apparent the differences between submissives and masochists in the BDSM community. The needs of a masochist are met by submission to the sensual reception of pain, torture, and/or humiliation in specific situations for defined periods of time. The needs of a submissive are met by submitting to the whims and control of another as a lifestyle that might or might not involve sado-masochistic play.
This is where kink and lifestyle diverge. Within BDSM there is D/s (Domination and submission) and S&M (sadism and masochism). Submissives fall into the D/s category and are submissive both in and out of any scene they may be involved in. Masochists that fall into the second category might take on some other role outside of the scene. For example, there are Dominants who also identify as masochists and choose to periodically take the bottom role to fulfill that need. There are also people whose relationship dynamics are relatively normal save for their kink, or the person may be a switch and identify as both top and bottom or both Dominant and submissive.
This is in no way a judgment on either group. One is not better than the other; each simply has a different set of needs that are fulfilled in the way that is best for the person. A submissive may or may not be masochistic, and there are submissives who hold fulfilling relationships with their Dominant and have no sado-masochistic play at all. Just the same, when you see a masochist writhing at the touch of a whip, he or she may or may not be submissive.
These distinctions come down to one simple concept. BDSM, no matter which facet one chooses to take part in, is about fulfilling the needs of a person in the best way possible. Some people are much more into the “service” aspect of submission, which does not necessarily include sado-masochism. But there are a great many who enjoy masochism, some even occasionally going out of their way to get the pain fix they desire.
To some, it sounds like a drug. In a way, it is. Masochists enjoy the “rush” of their pain. When the body sustains something painful, it releases endorphines to help stabilize itself. Masochists want the “endorphine rush” from the pain, much like a marathon runner thrives from his “runner's high,” (which, incidentally, is much the same thing – it's the body's release of endorphines that the runner craves). And yes, this can be just as addicting as any drug – sometimes more so. At least it's cheaper and not so damaging to one's body or mind, as a capable sadist can deliver incredible amounts of pain while never delivering any permanent damage.
Sounds fun, doesn't it?