Monday 8 September, 2008That Advice Stinks!

Heads up! If you detected an abnormally unpleasant odor emanating from between your legs (or your lover's), don't you think it's likely to have an abnormal cause?

Cleanliness counts, of course. Sweat actually has no odor, but it's such a tasty soup that bacteria eat it up in no time, farting out plenty of funk if you don't wash it away. And every animal has its own natural scent, produced by individual body chemistry and influenced (for good or ill) by diet.

The fact is, though, any unnaturally strong odor probably signals an infection. It needn't be nasty: a simple yeast infection can smell like fresh-baked bread. But if the odor is obnoxious or gets worse during sex, you can be pretty sure that some ugly little parasite has found a comfy hideout somewhere in your warm, moist innards. You can be certain that soaking in a tubful of yogurt three times a day won't flush it out.

These infections are so common, you're almost certain to host one at least once in your lifetime. Yeast, for example, is a normal resident in all of us, at all times. But if something throws your system off balance (for some women, the menstrual cycle alone can do it), that yeast can grow like weeds and itch like crazy.

If you're sexually active, chances are you'll be found by one or another of the uglier bugs. The most common one is trichomoniasis ("trick"), infecting millions of women and men each year. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis are other, increasingly nasty squatters.

That fishy odor may be the only indication that a sexually transmitted infection (STI) has settled in. Many men, and some women, have no obvious symptoms at all, or none that show up for weeks, months, or even years. But if the smell-face it-is bad, you need to do more than wash "once or twice a day (and guys, this goes for you too!) with warm soapy water" or "lightly rub some yogurt directly on your privates."

Left untreated, an STI can develop into a full-fledged disease, complete with fever, discharge, and plenty of pain. It can make you more vulnerable to HIV. Ultimately, it can make you sterile. For sure, it can ruin your sex life.

Why risk it? STIs are easy to clean up. Call your doctor, visit a clinic-just get it done. You may need to lay off the partying for a week or so (a small price to pay). You'll have to break the news to your lover, who should be treated at the same time. But DON'T BE EMBARRASSED! Remember, people (especially men) can carry these buggers around for ages before any symptoms show up, so who's to say who gave it to whom?

After that, just be more careful! Sure, sure, wash your "privates." Cut down on douching, wear cotton. That may help you avoid a yeast overgrowth. USE CONDOMS to avoid other STIs. (Realize that they can be transmitted orally, too.) Eat yogurt if you like it; it's great for the digestion. Bathe with reasonable frequency. Don't worry; be healthy.

But if you smell fish or funky, get it fixed!