Monday 12 October, 2009When Someone at Work Tests You

Sometimes it is hard to remind one’s self to try and listen to another person who you feel just attacked you unfairly. Whether this be a personal relationship or a work relationship (ie: as in co-worker or boss), it is not an easy thing to do.

For instance. I work part-time in a bakery café. My hours have always been set. Last week someone changed their hours which in turn changed my hours. I tried to give it my best shot but I just couldn’t accommodate the change.

I told the first manager so. “I’ll take care of it,” he said. Nothing happened-and he’s my favorite manager.

I told the second manager when I went in yesterday morning. His reaction was to tell me to speak to the “head” GM (general manager) who, for whatever reason, was not going to be available that day to connect with. He sent an email to her letting her know that I couldn’t make it, though he didn’t word it quite as I wanted him to. In the meanwhile, he suggested I not come in the next morning, so I didn’t. Until early am when he said he needed someone later. So I went in for a couple of hours.

In my signing out, the general manager of this bakery cafe-someone who so many other employees do not get along with and who I have championed-accused me of being snippy while she sat at a corner booth with every other one of my bosses. And me? In my trying to listen to her, I found my emotions going all over the place inwardly. It was very clear to me that I was now receiving in attitude what so many of my co-workers had rebelled and complained about; and which I had tried to stay out and away from. I tried to assert myself and I ended up with my initial hours back but now there’s difference.

Now I want to leave.

And why this is a problem for me is because too many times in the past, I have bolted from things that became uncomfortable. Well, no--that’s not quite accurate. I’ve often stayed and tried to work things out, long after I shouldn’t have. It’s been a painful realization to understand that anywhere I go, there is going to be at least one person that I am going to clash with. I should know this but I keep thinking differently.

On the drive home, I found myself rehearsing what I wish I could have said. I would have liked to have stood up for myself with more respect afforded to myself. My reaction to being sideswiped unexpectedly is a kind of taken aback-shock-like kind of thing…and my response is often a words-come-tumbling-out-kind of way.  Still, though I may not have represented myself as I would have liked, I suppose I should give myself credit for holding my own a little bit. For all who try, we should.